A PERSPECTIVE.
The feeling in the air is of unrest and uncertainty -that can’t be denied. With so much time on your hands and and practicing social-distancing you’re bound to feel isolated, removed and overly contemplative.
We can’t see our loved ones, we’re locked up with our loved ones, we can’t go to our spin class that was our one emotional outlet, we can’t exercise our daily routine of a cappuccino to-go, we’ve had to reschedule that job interview that could’ve been a turning point for us. For the first time in our generation we’re all in the same boat, having to juggle the Keep Calm And Carry On attitude and that chaotic scene from Mean Girls when the whole school erupts into a fight and that one kid calls his mum to come get him.
I, myself, am battling with polar opposite feelings and attitudes. For the past few months I’ve been making an effort to make big changes in my life. But every time I was taking a step forward, something would happen that would set me back and I’d essentially be doing the Cha-cha and not gone anywhere. So when COVID-19 came and took our lives, our privileges we took for granted and pushed us to our limits of motivation and inspiration, I felt debilitated.
Some of you may criticise me in being unproductive for listing all the negatives from this situation, and I hear you. However I’m someone who needs to acknowledge the bad and the crummy before I can look up to see the silver lining. If I approach every day on its own, separate from the rest of the year or situation then maybe I’ll come out the other side having accomplished something. So in case you’re also sitting at home in the same clothes for the 5th day in a row and can’t remember the last time you spoke to someone face-to-face, then maybe you’ll resonate with me.
GLASS HALF-EMPTYI’m terrified. I’m afraid for my friends who are doctors, doctors in general, the DHL man, the cashier. I wonder if they’re afraid too. I can’t get mad at the people using their services and risking their health, because here I am popping out to get more milk.
I’m trying to stay calm but there’s an ever-present rumble of uneasiness every time I watch a video warning us of what COVID-19 could do to us.
I’d been feeling constrained, exhausted, uninspired and suffocated. But I kept telling myself that I’ll go away soon to be reenergised and restored. But that was taken away from me.
I’m afraid I’ll never realise my plans and dreams, and I’ll be stuck in this loop forever.
I’m stuck and I can’t run away from my problems anymore.
I can’t be at home 24/7, I’ll go mad.
I could use this time to start and finish those projects and that I’ve always wanted to do, but now I’m pressuring myself that if I don’t accomplish anything then I just wasted this time.
GLASS HALF-FULLI have the time to call my friends, if I want to.
I can have the conversations that I’ve been putting off and actually put some thought into them as opposed to saying the first thing that comes to my head.
I can work on my relationships and stop compartmentalising them.
It’s in these moments when things are taken away from you that you can assess what your real needs are and what is most important to you.
I’ll make a list of all the things that I want to do when I’m “out”.
With all the media that we have access to, I’ll try to read the news instead of watch it. Hopefully it’ll be less triggering.
I’m going to fake tan.
I used to be a yogi, and now I can bring that back to my life.
Maybe I can relearn how to do the splits.
In the way that the glass is neither being emptied or being filled, I acknowledge that I’ll continue to see life as both half-full and half-empty. My mood and thoughts could shift in the split second that it takes for me to get from the sofa to the fridge (again), but that’s fine. I want to open this up to you too, so feel free to leave comments about your experiences and troublesome thoughts during this time.
And since I’m bound by the four walls of the apartment, I thought I’d share with you the everyday scenes and times from pre-quarantine. I found these images to be eerily relevant to our lives and streets today.
